MATTHEW 'THE_NERD' GROSSMAN


Here we are in the 00's and, like (the older) George Bush's dinner into the Japanese Prime Minister's lap, words like Information Superhighway and Cyber(Anything) are being spewed into the mainstream press. All of a sudden, it's cool to be a nerd. I've been not just a nerd, but The Nerd for twenty-eight years (since I built my first circuit at age five). Now, instead of being an outcast, I'm a "trendsetter". Go figure...

WHY I'M CALLED THE_NERD

  1. I have had a dedicated line connecting my house to the Internet since 1994.

  2. I have two Class C's of IP address space with more than 20 hosts online in my house.

  3. I have either built or modified most of my hardware.

  4. My e-mail has been forwarded to an alphanumeric pager or smart phone since 1995.

  5. I carry a laptop, 2 different PDA phones, a handytalkie and a utility belt.

  6. I have three different network topologies in my house.

  7. I have ethernet poolside and in the bathroom.

  8. I have a terminal on my nightstand.

  9. I moved from New York to Arizona in August 1993. I left my social life in New York and I have only visited it twice since leaving.

  10. I have so many Internet accounts around the world that I need an encrypted password database to keep track of them.

  11. I have a few 33.6 dialups into my network so I'm never out of touch with my machines.

  12. I usually have at least one soldering iron burn somewhere on my body.

  13. I have more CD-ROMs than music CDs.

  14. I own copies of Revenge of the Nerds, Sneakers, Wargames, Real Genius, D.A.R.Y.L., Explorers, Hackers, Electric Dreams, The Matrix, etc.

  15. I own a NASA pocket protector.

  16. I have over 20 CRTs & 5 LCDs in my home.

  17. I frequently use the phrase "when in doubt, whip it out," but always in reference to my personal digital assistant.

  18. In the wake of the Oklahoma City bombing, my first reaction was to set up a web page.

  19. I'm Mensa number 1130570.

  20. I have a shirt with my e-mail address embroidered on it.

  21. I bought the shirt in #20 just so I could have another entry on this list.

  22. I have a 7' tall industrial equipment rack in my house.

  23. I have my own web server, just to host my vanity domains.

  24. I turned my photographic collection into a web site.

  25. I made Mirsky's worst web nicknames page.

  26. I have two shirts with the Internet Direct logo on them, four with the StarNet logo on them, five with the Login logo on them and three with the Simply Bits logo on them.

  27. I have 11,000VA of uninterruptable backup power in my house.

  28. An index of my computers is available via a web database.

  29. My parents' dog has a homepage.

  30. So does mine.

  31. My nick is the 377th most commonly said word on EFnet IRC Channel #Macintosh.

  32. I'm the 115th most vocal person on EFnet IRC channel #Macintosh.

  33. I run my own CUseeme reflector (reflector.telekachina.com).

  34. I have an office phone system in my house.

  35. My rabbits used to hang out in an old Compaq 8088 case.

  36. My house is controlled by an X-10 home automation controller with a WWW and IRC-2 interface.

  37. I end each evening by IRCing then turning off the bedroom lights by typing x10 -c b -f 1.

  38. There is a Usenet Newsgroup on me.

  39. All of my televisions and stereos are on uninterruptable power supplies.

  40. I found my dog in the Electrifieds.

  41. My dog Reina has a microchip in her.

  42. The weather at my house can be viewed here.

  43. I'm a private pilot. There's no cooler nerd-toy than a plane, and it makes a good excuse to buy GPSs, radios, $40 flashlights, etc.

  44. My house has an autonomous system number.

  45. My bicycle has a GPS receiver on it.

  46. Four words: Radio Shack Gold Card.

  47. My DVD/LaserDisc inventory is online.